The Dance Off
by Darth Avery
Summary: The Office has a dance off, thanks to Michael's stupidity and hubris. But the stakes in this one are high, and who shall claim victory? Just something silly I decided to write, it'll get longer, I promise. That's what she said!
1. Headspins, and other crazy crap

**The Dance-Off**

_Author's Note: Wow, absence again. I took a break from writing to play KOTOR 2, which lead to me writing a songfic there which has been posted. And now I'm writing this because I feel like returning, and making Michael dance...again. I've said before, and I'll say it again: I don't own The Office or, in this stories case, America's Best Dance Crew. Let's go with Season 4 on this one._

Friday morning before Michael showed up was the best time for Pam. Jim was there to talk to, Michael was not there to bother her, Dwight was less annoying since his breakup with Angela, and everyone just tried to get there work done so they could go home and start the weekend. Pam sat at her desk, checking her e-mail and answering the phone when Michael came in, a certain pep in his step. Pam just sighed and knew this would be another long day.

"Pam-o-Rama!" Michael said, in a voice about twenty decibels higher than needed to be, "Hey , what's happenin'?"

"Michael, here are your messages, and Ryan left--"

"Did you watch America's Best Dance Crew last night? Oh my god, seriously, how do you dance like that?"

**"These kids on MTV," Michael elaborated, "do this dancing, that is just so **_**insane**_**. They're spinning on their heads, and doing these weird things with their hands, and frankly, it's just awesome." Michael sat back in his chair. "I wonder where I can learn how to do that?"**

"No Michael, but you've got a lot of work to do before the day en--"

"Really? You should watch it." Michael nonchalantly grabbed the messages and began to walk to his doorway when he turned back around and asked, "Pam, do you know how to spin on your head?"

"No Michael."

"Well, could you find out how for me? Thanks." Michael walked into his office, shutting the door behind him.

**"Sometimes," Pam said, "Michael asks me to do these really crazy or stupid, or both things. I really don't have the time, and Jim likes to procrastinate, so I just make him look up the stupid stuff."**

The office members couldn't help but be distracted that day, from the sound coming from Michael's office. The camera peeked through the window, to see everything pushed against the walls. Michael was in his suit pants and dress shirt with the sleeves pulled up, and was trying to do some form of break dancing in the middle of his carpeted room. Dwight was, of coarse, sitting on the desk, watching gleefully at his boss' pitiful attempt.

Michael stood up, his arms and face red from a mixture of attempted breakdancing and rugburn, began to pant. Dwight diligently handed him a bottle of water, which Michael gulped down. "That was amazing Michael." Dwight said, "I wish I could dance like that."

"Yeah, I bet you do wish you had my skills." Michael suddenly and impulsively burst out into the office "I bet you all wish you had my skills!"

"Michael, what are you talking about?" Phyllis said.

Michael patted his chest with his open palms, than raised them to the sky, "I am a dancing machine! I am such a beast!"

"Michael, you're being really obnoxious" Angela said.

"Yeah, and I'd bet I could dance better than you!" Andy said, standing up to Michael.

**"As a young lad," Andy Bernard said, "I took a few years of tap dance, along with occasional jazz dance lessons from my sister." Andy slowly shook his head. "And still I retained all this manly manness." **

"Alright! Everyone! CONFERENCE ROOM, 5 MINUTES!" Michael yelled, walking into his office, Dwight hot on his tail. Jim and Pam just looked at each other, and giggled.

_Haha, this is great. I can't wait to reveal my amazing dance off plans. Plus, the songs they will be dancing too. Oh, so good. Also, I've got presents for people. If you review, you get a 12 pack of Dr. Pepper, yum. If you don't review, you get a lightsaber...to the face! Which do you prefer, pain or delicious soda? _


	2. Like Thundercats, or Serpentine

**The Dance Off**

_Yay to all the reviewers! You soda is in the mail and shall arrive...never! 'twists curly evil villain moustash' MWAHAHAHA!! Just kidding, but I'm keeping the 'stash. Thanks all the reviewers. Now, be good, KEEP REVIEWING. Also, I've got a shout out to America's Best Dance Crew, which finale'd last night. Way to go Jabbawokeez, go second favorite team (I'm a Kaba Modern supporter)_

Everyone was crowded in the conference room, half paying attention, and half not caring about whatever nonsence Michael was about to spew. Michael walked in, still red from dancing, slamming the door behind him. "It's been brought to my attention that some of you think your better than me." Michael said, "But you're not, especially at dancing."

Almost everyone in the room, except Dwight and Michael, rolled their eyes and sighed. "That is why," Michael said, "I am initiating a competition. Who is Dunder Mifflin's Best Dance Crew?"

"What does this have to do with work, Michael?" Phylllis said, "I have a sales call in 20 minutes."

"The prize has to do with work!" Michael yelled, "The best team of two gets a weeks paid vacation." Stanley's crossword puzzle and pen hit the floor, and a smile grew on his face.

**"A week away from Michael, a paid week away from Michael." Stanley said. His lips curled into a smile, and you could actually see the whites of his eyes. "I'm in."**

"Michael, where did you get the authority to do that?" Toby asked

"Nobody asked you, Toby. Now you're on a team with Kelly."

"Kelly?" Toby began to say, his very existence beginning to shatter, but that was interrupted a second later.  
"Toby, I get to be on your team. Ohmigod, I've got sooo many neat ideas! You know, our outfits have to have sequins cause when we dance it'll be all 'ahhh'" When she described the sequins, Kelly did some jazz hands, Toby just wanted to crawl under the chair he was sitting in.

"Kelly, I'm not done yet, so...shut it!" Michael said, "Now, any questions?"  
"Question:" Dwight said, looking as serious as always, "Michael, can I be on your team?"

**"The Schrutes know a variety of folk dances, performed at family gatherings and county fairs. There's one dance, the Heidelberg, Mose and I do before every beet season. It's dedicated to the beet god, Flugenstein." His face ever serious, he stared into the camera, "So yeah, I can break it down."**

Michael sighed, "Uhh, fine." Opening the door, Michael led himself out, "Form your teams and have a routine by Monday. Then, WE BATTLE!" Michael walked into his office, Dwight hot on his heels.

Jim, not moving from his chair, looked at Pam next to him. "Hey teammate." he mumbled.

"You're not serious about this are you Jim?" Pam said

"It's a week paid vacation. We could get some stuff done at the apartment with that time."

**Pam sat in the chair for the talking head, smiling, "Jim's moving in." Pam rocked back and forth very happily, and hummed a little tune while rocking.**

_CUTAWAY TO NEW SECTION WOOSH!!_

Meanwhile, Michael sat in his chair, looking up dancing videos on You Tube, Dwight standing behind him.

"We could be Dumbledore." Dwight said,

"No Dwight." Michael said, "We're not gonna be named any of your nerd loser names. We have to have a cool name, like Thundercats, or Serpentine."

"Serpentine sounds cool."

"Alright," Michael said, looking at the camera, "Fear Team Serpentine!" Dwight held his hand out for Michael to fist it, but the favor was never returned.

"Aww, look at this." Michael was watching the music video for Chris Brown's "Kiss Kiss", "This is awesome, look at those freaks move."

**"The vacation is my own." Michael said, "I am that confident that we will kick ass. Well I will, Dwight will probably just stand in the background while I do what the kids call 'work, son.'"**

_SWEET ANOTHER CUTAWAY TO A NEW AREA OF THE OFFICE! VERUCA SALT!_

Angela was hard at work, ignoring Kevin and Oscar's arguing over what song to make a dance to. Kevin wanted "Something awesome, like the Police.", Oscar just thought that was stupid, "cause you can't really dance to any Police songs, we need something that has a rhythmic beat"

Meanwhile, as Angela's headache bulit, Andy came meandering over to her desk. "So lovecake," he said, "Are you ready to bust a move with the 'Nard dog?"

"Andy, this is absolutely the most stupid thing Michael's ever proposed. Plus, dancing is sinful."

**"My father didn't allow any kind of dance in our household, and I understand why." Angela said, in her so-so goody goody voice, "Ballet, for example, is completely horrible. Those whores wear too much glitter and too short skirts. Plus those fruity men are touching them all over." Angela crossed her arms and squinted, "Horrible."**

"Aw, c'mon Monkey." Andy said, putting a hand on her desk. Andy's hand quickly rose, after an accounting book was slammed hard on it.

"What have I told you about that word?" Andy just shuffled away, like a defeated puppy.

"Alright everybody!" Michael yelled, at around 5 o'clock. Everyone was getting ready to leave work, and start their weekend, "Be ready for Monday. Cause Monday...WE BATTLE! CAAAAAAN YOUUUU DIG ITTTT??" Michael yelled, running out the door of the office, leaving behind a confused staff of future amateur dancers.

_So yeah, Part 3 comes next. THEY DO BATTLE. I can't wait to write it. Let me give you some hints, there will be Daft Punk! Zombies! Michael Jackson Dancing! and a surprising winner! does the robot to "Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger" and collapses_


End file.
